That's What He Said
by Irrelevancy
Summary: In which Lavi waves something around, and Kanda uses a questionable term. LaviYuu, sorta? Rated T for innuendos and... sorta-Lime. Pure crack attempted.


**A/N: All credit for inspiration goes to Cali and one HM, whose name I dunno if I should put out in public.**

**^-^"**

**Enjoy as much as you can?  
**

* * *

"It's hard."

"…You're surprised because…?"

"I'm… not. It's just…"

"…?"

"Well… It's hard."

"And?"

"And I can't… stick… it… in…"

"Ow!"

"So sorry…"

"Ugh… Do it right, can't you?!"

"I'm sorry! This is my first time!"

"That's ridiculous! Even _I've_ done it before!"

"You're being mean, Yuu!"

"Don't call me- OW! Just where are you sticking that thing?!"

"I don't know!"

"Dammit rabbit-! I told you I should've been the one-"

"No! It's my right!"

"What the hell?!"

"Hmph! Just let me try again!"

"What do you mean by it's your right?!"

"…I'm taller than you!"

"And?!?!"

"I'm taller than you, which makes you the more effeminate one in here!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"It means exactly what you think it means!"

"God dammit- Just give me the god damn-"

"No! I refuse!"

"Stop being so stubborn!"

"…Fine! Have it your way then!"

"Good!"

"Huff!"

"…Wait, where the hell are you sticking tha- OOMPH!"

"Serves you right, Yuu-chan!"

"Gereohtahaoush!"

"I can't heeeeaaaaar you!"

"Ah hay… GET THIS THING OUT OF MY MOUTH!"

"OW! Yuu-chan… That's gonna hurt!"

"Serves you right! Now hurry it up before anyone finds- Oh God, this tastes horrible!"

"Well… That's kinda the general consensus… Wonder why some people like it though… Like Moyashi-chan."

"Uh. Stupid Moyashi's messed up. God dammit. Just give it to me and finish, already, would ya?!"

"No! There was no time limit! I want to take my time!"

"Hell no! Dammit… I've done my part, now just do yours!"

"Why are you in such a rush, Yuu? Slow down and enjoy life for a change!"

"There's nothing about life to enjoy!"

"Oh? Not even this?"

"Oh shi-! That's… That's different…"

"I know you love it, Yuu. Love to stick it in-"

"SHUT IT AND EAT THE GODDAMN MARSHMALLOW ICE CREAM, SO WE CAN FINISH THIS BET ALREADY!!!!!!"

* * *

**A/N: FAIL.**

**'Kay, here's the backstory, really: Allen betted that the two couldn't finish one carton of marshmallow ice cream, and how only manly people would be able to eat it. So Lavi and Kanda, to defend their hard-won masculinity, attempts this.**

**xD**

**What were you thinking of~~?**

**And... if it's still not clear...**

"It's hard." **The ice cream.**

"…You're surprised because…?"

"I'm… not. It's just…"

"…?"

"Well… It's hard."

"And?"

"And I can't… stick… it… in…" **The ice cream scooper.**

"Ow!" **In an attempt to stick it in, Lavi pulls his arm back and elbows Kanda in the... *Insert body part of choice here***

"So sorry…"

"Ugh… Do it right, can't you?!"

"I'm sorry! This is my first time!" **Scooping ice cream, apparently...?**

"That's ridiculous! Even _I've_ done it before!" **Truly, I am surprised.**

"You're being mean, Yuu!"

"Don't call me- OW! Just where are you sticking that thing?!" **Lavi waves the scooper around. Kanda uses a questionable term.**

"I don't know!"

"Dammit rabbit-! I told you I should've been the one-" **He's talking about the more masculine of the two here.**

"No! It's my right!"

"What the hell?!"

"Hmph! Just let me try again!"

"What do you mean by it's your right?!"

"…I'm taller than you!"

"And?!?!"

"I'm taller than you, which makes you the more effeminate one in here!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"It means exactly what you think it means!" **It means, Yuu-kun, that Lavi wants to assert his masculinity, thus his seme-ness in this relationship!!**

"God dammit- Just give me the god damn-" **Thank you, for refraining from cussing the world out, Kanda.**

"No! I refuse!"

"Stop being so stubborn!"

"…Fine! Have it your way then!"

"Good!"

"Huff!"

"…Wait, where the hell are you sticking tha- OOMPH!" **Once again, Kanda uses a questionable term. His vocabulary's not all that large...**

"Serves you right, Yuu-chan!" **Yeah! Having a half-frozen ice cream scooper filled to the top with overly sweet marshmallow ice cream stuffed unceremoniously in your mouth is totally what you deserve, Yuu!**

"Gereohtahaoush!"

"I can't _heeeeaaaaar_ you!"

"Ah hay… GET THIS THING OUT OF MY MOUTH!"

"OW! Yuu-chan… That's gonna hurt!" **...I'll leave this part to your surely overactive imaginations.**

"Serves you right! Now hurry it up before anyone finds- Oh God, this tastes horrible!" **0.0 Sorry if you like it...**

"Well… That's kinda the general consensus… Wonder why some people like it though… Like Moyashi-chan." **'Tis why you can find them at Safeway...**

"Uh. Stupid Moyashi's messed up. God dammit. Just give it to me and finish, already, would ya?!"

"No! There was no time limit! I want to take my time!"

"Hell no! Dammit… I've done my part, now just do yours!"

"Why are you in such a rush, Yuu? Slow down and enjoy life for a change!"

"There's nothing about life to enjoy!"

"Oh? Not even this?"

"Oh shi-! That's… That's different…" **Hey. My version? Kanda's a closet strawberry-lover. Lavi whips out (Jesus Christ...!) a strawberry POPSICLE.**

"I know you love it, Yuu. Love to stick it in-" **your mouth and chew.**

"SHUT IT AND EAT THE GODDAMN MARSHMALLOW ICE CREAM, SO WE CAN FINISH THIS BET ALREADY!!!!!!"

**So, as you can see, FAIL.**

**Review, anyways~~?  
**


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